Center for Independent Threat Analysis and Research

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is that good men do nothing"

Thursday, December 07, 2006

"Its the Cool Thing... Everybody's Doin' It"

Sometimes I feel like a staff writer at the Onion when I begin to formulate ideas about what I should comment on. Depressing really.
So now, everybody (well 30+ countries) is getting the nuclear itch and wants to play too. Most of these countries under the guise of uranium enrichment programs (funny how we immediately equate that now to "building the bomb". Even soccer moms understand the concept behind gas centrifuge cascades). These 30 countries would join the current 9 in the announced "nuclear club" for the following reason given by the head of the IAEA, Mohamed ElBaradei "Unfortunately, the political environment is not a very secure one... there are a lot of temptations (to develop nuclear weapons)," he said.
So basically, if you feel insecure, get a bigger weapon. Ok, I can kinda see that. So lets take a look at these "virtual nuclear states" as he called them.
Iran - duh
Australia, Argentina and South Africa - Uhm the Aussies, ok. Argentina, can they pay their debts first. S. Africa, didnt they have a program and give it up?
Canada, Germany, Sweden, Belgium, Switzerland, Taiwan, Spain, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Lithuania - All of these countries have the capability to do so quickly. Canada? now thats comedy.
Egypt, Bangladesh, Ghana, Indonesia, Jordan, Namibia, Moldova, Nigeria, Poland, Thailand, Turkey, Vietnam and Yemen - All these are considering near term nuclear programs. This is where I begin to save money for the next orbital trip to the ISS. I completely forgot that Moldova was even a country! I for sure thought it was a Starbucks flavor of the month... As for the rest of them, the day that Vietnam, Yemen or Nigeria get the bomb or ANY nuclear capability, I believe its time to elect another Republican President and Congress. And Namibia?? Isnt that where Jolie-Pitt had a baby? this world is imploding and quickly.
Lets see, rounding out the list are Japan, South Korea and Brazil. Now there are three countries that I would not mind seeing have the bomb, hell we should probably help them out. Japan, mainly out of guilt and trust, South Korea because they deserve the chance to make things even (with China not N Korea) and Brazil, well, ive spent sometime in Brazil in the past few years and those people are amazing and should probably rule the world anyway (food, drink, weather, beauty).

So, in closing, in looks like our exclusive club that has been most recently barged in upon by Crazy Kim could get a little less exclusive in the near future. Kind of like when all the degenerates come to sit at the cool kids table. Ya, just like that


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